Fan fiction: Newsweek is just going to go ahead and cover President Beto O’Rourke now
As Twitchy recently reported, Beto O’Rourke, who lost to Sen. Ted Cruz in the midterm election, wrote a brief blog post on Medium Sunday criticizing the Trump administration’s handling of the migrant caravan and suggesting that an army of immigration lawyers be deployed to the border to handle all those “asylum” cases.
As any serious news magazine would, Newsweek decided to expand O’Rourke’s two-minute read into a feature-length article and then tweeted this:
— Newsweek (@Newsweek) November 26, 2018
O’Rourke lost his Senate bid, so now Newsweek is going to cover everything he says as if he were president? Were there no actual senators to interview? Lindsey Graham was pretty talkative about the migrant caravan today, and he’s actually in a position to influence policy, and not in a pretend way.
If Winnie the Pooh was president, here's how he would handle migrant caravan. pic.twitter.com/nDGrm9be7j
— Jeff Godwin (@JeffGodwin) November 27, 2018
No, seriously, how would President O’Rourke handle it?
By going to Glamour Shots and getting a photo?
— MattBlackwell (@MattBlackwell) November 27, 2018
With a dramatic high contrast glamour photo shoothttps://t.co/bKQ1KU7Nfq
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 27, 2018
I can actually hear them fapping. https://t.co/slhyRKFr0v
— EducatédHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) November 27, 2018
Isn’t he just so DWEAMY! 😍
— TocksNedlog (@gypsyluc) November 27, 2018
Newsweek, he’s not gonna fvck you, I don’t think at least
— theone (@theone20152016) November 27, 2018
For the love of god… do you people buy knee pads by the pallet or something?
— Alex Furlong (@RoombaWithAView) November 27, 2018
I’ll bet writing this made the author all moist.
— BeoWulf (@BeoWulfinho) November 27, 2018
"What's all that giddy screaming coming from Lower Manhattan? Did Chris Hemsworth wander into an all-girls high school?"
"Close. Beto O'Rourke wandered into Newsweek headquarters."
— Papist in NOVA (@nova_papist) November 27, 2018
Does the reporter have a full-sized poster of O’Rourke with “Dreamy!” written on it in lipstick?
— BattleSwarm (@BattleSwarmBlog) November 27, 2018
I mean, the obsession is almost disturbing
— Bozana Peric (@BozanaPeric) November 27, 2018
Dear God it will be insufferable if he gains any traction in 2020 as a candidate and the media fawning all over him like the second coming.
— Chris Campbell (@ChrisCampbell32) November 27, 2018
How would he have handled it if he were a Senator?
— Physics Geek (@physicsgeek) November 27, 2018
He’d drop in to the nearest empty pool and do some sick moves.
— Chad Smith (@SmithChadD) November 27, 2018
Pound some beers and go for a car ride
— Lee (@Lee11550726) November 27, 2018
He'd let them all in and give them voter registration cards.
We know what he'd do
— J Brown❌ (@joelbnole4264) November 27, 2018
Spoiler: He’d open up our borders and create a migrant crisis similar to what Europe is currently experiencing…
— Jeff Smith (@Jeffsmith5084) November 27, 2018
Do you also do the same story on everyone else who lost their bid to be elected a Senator?
— Dead Zed (@pulgalization) November 27, 2018
Surprising: Beto O’Rourke admits we should ‘follow our own laws’ when it comes to immigration https://t.co/CS4WAC1wne
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) November 27, 2018